Start with Centering Self, a free speaker series to calm inner chaos & claim self love
True confession: Each birthday for years I would curl up into a ball and chant, “I hate myself. I hate myself…” over and over and over.
The strange thing was, I didn’t know why.
This underlying self-hatred propelled me into personal transformation from a young age, and eventually into the personal transformation field. as a Mind-Body Coach, Hypnotherapist and Authenticity Coach.
Transformation was (and is) a fertile field because there is a never-ending list of juicy limitations to transform. The problem with “transformation” is that it implies a negative to get rid of and a positive to open to. But inner freedom is a continuum. What is freeing at one point eventually becomes limiting as you grow beyond it, and then you are back to the ping-pong match of transformation—judging what had been freeing as bad or wrong and looking for the next “right” thing
I was addicted to the rush of inner freedom I felt when I shifted a limitation into an expansion new perspective. It took years for me to realize that I was playing a never-ending game of cat and mouse.
The work was helpful—don’t get me wrong. I let go of a lot of toxic emotional crud, learned to love and accept myself more and love and accept others. I gained a lot of inner freedom that has been amazingly wonderful in so many ways.
After years of this, I began to suspect I was missing something. This is it:
As much as my mind wanted an explanation or reason for self-hatred, anger, fear, resistance and so on, there was no actual “why” to point to.
Limiting emotions are varying expressions of a common condition: being disconnected from your essence.
The emotional and visceral experience of disconnection is the source of most emotional pain. It often starts before birth with the shifting tide of even a loving mother’s emotions, and then is reinforced in ways small and large from the broken eye contact of a tired parent, to learning how to sleep alone, to being shamed or shunned by family and friends for culturally inappropriate (which doesn’t make it bad or wrong) self-expression.
Disconnection is also the origin of the division—within ourselves, within families, within society—that plagues communities and nations.
When we are connected to our essence and learn to love our whole self—even the contradictory & contrarian parts—the illusion of division dissolves, and the walls within our hearts, our relationships and our differences begin to crumble.
This beautiful disintegration helps you shift out of the blaming of us vs. them. Free of this, you are better able to deeply listen and respond in love, and to honor your own essence as well as the essence within each being.
The catch is that in order to do this with others, you need to first do this within yourself.
This is the journey of self-love.
I can’t say that I have this journey mastered—but that isn’t the point. The point is the journey into deep connection with yourself, with other, with nature and the world.
At least, this is the point for me.
I invite you to journey with me in this site. I’ll tell you what I discover along the way, and hopefully give you some tools to help you on your journey of self-love as well. Just so we’re clear, self-love to me isn’t the narcissistic need to elevate yourself. Self-love to me is the ultimate path of service. When you give of yourself from your own overflowing cup, you can be a consistent, steady source of love and service to the world.
One resource that has been invaluable to me is essential oils. Essential oils are plant essences that have helped me rebalance physically, peel away deep emotional layers, help lay the groundwork for self-love and enhance the love and joy as it has been rising.
Humans and plants have similar DNA and have interacted together for as long as humans have walked the earth. Using plant essences in the form of essential oils are also a simple way to help stay more connected to your body and the natural world, even if you live in the city.
Essential oils are most effective when used mindfully and consistently.
Essential oil practice, like all journeys, can be lonely if you travel it alone.
I love the mentorship and community model of the team and company I work with, and I as a fellow sojourner on the path of self-love, I extend that invitation to you as well.
If you’d like to know more about how essential oils can help you on your journey—physically, mentally, emotionally and more—and have community education and support...
You can schedule a free, no-obligation conversation with me here. If there are no times that work for you then contact me here and tell me some good times for you. We’ll find one, I’m looking forward to talking with you.