How to Speak Your Authentic Truth Even When You’re Terrified

How to Speak Your Authentic Truth

Have you ever had a situation where you had to either speak your authentic truth or shrink into a lesser version of yourself—whether it meant diminishing yourself in a relationship, accepting an actual or perceived demotion, or losing the respect of others or even of yourself?

It’s terrifying having to speak your authentic truth when you are not used to it—or having to speak at a deeper level than truth than usual. That’s the point really. Your deeper self puts you into these positions to break through your fear, which is all well and good in theory, but how do you actually get through the moment?

First, understand that the way inner growth works is that your deep authentic self pushes you to expand even as your body screams “NO!” The process of building new synapses, patterns and circuits in the body to support expressing your authentic truth more easily is what I call the Spiritual Journey of the Body. The journey requires that you head right into the fear!

My Path to Speaking My Authentic Truth

They say you are here to teach what you are here to learn, and for much of my life I was terrified of speaking pretty much anything, Speak Your Authentic Truthmuch less my authentic truth. I can remember shaking just answering questions like what I wanted for dessert or what I wanted to be when I grew up. Part of it was that I was so disconnected from authentic desire that I really didn’t have an answer, but part of it was a deep fear that if people saw who I really was—even if it was a kid who wanted ice cream for dessert, that I’d be obliterated. It sounds a little dramatic but that’s how I experienced it.

It’s been a long road of learning what authenticity is and clearing the pathways in my body to let me speak it. What I’ve learned though is the importance of bringing the new pattern that you want into your body in order to build a new pathway, and the shortest and most effective path takes you right through the fear.

The body is wired to learn through fear, so of course it will always respond in fear when a new situation or experience challenges you to expand. It’s just the magic of physiology at work, but that’s no reason to let it stop you. If you’re on the path of empowerment, these kind of situations will keep coming up anyway, so why not just jump in and go for it so you can speak your truth in a situation instead of shriveling down into a smaller box?

Three Steps to Speak Your Authentic Truth

There are three things that need to fall into place for you to speak your authentic truth

Shift Resistance & Blocks

There are a few ways I do this—you may have your own, too. I like to invite the fear or resistance to the surface where I can feel it and by feeling it without slipping out of the larger experience of my authentic self, let it unravel and release. It’s pretty easy to bring up the fear just by thinking about the situation, but the key is to stay grounded in your authentic self as you feel it. If that’s too overwhelming, breathe through the feelings of fear with diaphragmatic breaths a little at a time as you envision the situation. When you breathe using the diaphragm, you train your body to feel safer even as you imagine the situation.

Kaffir lime slice backgroundShifting Resistance with Bergamot Essential Oil: Another thing that helps me shift resistance are essential oils. For shifting stuck energy I often use Bergamot, a citrus oil that in my experience releases mental, emotional and physical blocks. To use it, focus on the situation, notice where you feel the most resistance in your body, smell the oil and then rub a few drops over the area you feel the resistance. As the resistance releases from that spot it may move elsewhere. Keep smelling the oil and rubbing a few drops where you feel the resistance until you feel pretty clear.

Grounding Courage into Your Body

If your body isn’t feeling courage, you will come off as less than courageous when you speak your truth—only 7% of communication is verbal, and putting on an act will come through in the other 93% of what you are communicating.

First, stand and feel your legs solidly on the ground in the “Wonder Woman pose” with your legs shoulder width apart and hands on hour hips. Breathe all the way into your feet and fingertips and whole body and imagine you are Wonder Woman until you feel courage flowing everywhere. Then, practice your conversation or talk here in your mind—still in the Wonder Woman stance—until you can maintain your body’s feeling of courage throughout the whole conversation.screen-shot-2017-01-09-at-6-50-40-pm

Cedarwood Essential Oil for Courage & Grounding: Cedarwood, like many wood essential oils can help you ground into your body, which helps your body open to feelings of courage & confidence. Cedarwood can also calm mental chatter and improve emotional stability, which is helpful because speaking your truth can be a highly emotional experience. You always want to smell your oil because the aroma begins to shift brain chemistry. Then out a few drops on the bottom of you feet and rub them together. THEN, stand like the Wonder Woman (or Superman) you are!

Speak Your Truth Aloud

Once you can speak your truth calmly and courageously in your mind, it’s time to speak your truth aloud—a whole different experience. Yes it will probably bring up another eave of fear—and if it does, just pause and repeat steps 1 & 2 to get calm and grounded and then continue.

Speaking your truth aloud by yourself is not quite as powerful as speaking it with the person or group you are gearing up for, but it’s a critical step in being able to speak it to others more effectively. To practice this, remain in your Wonder Woman stance, and speak your truth aloud. Keep practicing and pausing to go back to steps 1 & 2 if you need to. It may seem like a lot of effort beforehand, but by the time you can do step three from calmness and courage, you’ll be ready to have that conversation with the person or group you need to!

Lavender Essential Oil boosts communication! Applying Lavender oil on the front of your throat and over your heart is a great way to open the channel of communication between your internal dialogue and voicing your truth in the external world. Always smell the oil before apply topically.

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About the Author

Kristine Madera is a Self-Love Mentor, Transformational Essential Oil Practitoner, Bestselling Author & Speaker who helps people cultivate self love and live from their true essence. This empowered state supports optimal health & well-being, and helps you live your full possibility because you serve others & the world from your own full cup.